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Sal[Au]pian 
"Four ever European"
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 Posted - 01/06/2009 : 03:28:01
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I've roughly ordered every film that I saw at the cinema last year and gave 0/5, 1/5 or 2/5. Some of them are very close together though and I wasn't that interested in dwelling on them. To see which films I gave higher scores, see here.
0/5 (= wrong in principle)
Quarantine (2008): Literally pointless.
1/5 (= bad)
Disaster Movie (2008): Horribly unfunny.
Meet Dave (2008): Oh, Eddie, what went wrong?
The Love Guru (2008): Oh, Mike, what went wrong?
Meet the Spartans (2008): Horribly unfunny, but has a fit guy in it.
Make It Happen (2008): By far the worst of the teen dance films.
First Sunday (2008): Not a good year for black comedy.
The Oxford Murders (2008): Terrible script and acting. I fell asleep.
Prom Night (2008): So derivative it is ridiculous.
Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins (2008): Still not a good year for black comedy. Why do the writers love stereotypes so much?
Fly Me to the Moon (2008): Might entertain children up to about five who have been brought up in a cave.
The House Bunny (2008): Attractive girls with glasses and bad hair can be easily made over? No shit.
2/5 (= barely passable for one viewing)
Three and Out (2008): I met someone who worked on this (one of the couple who helped when I was pepper-sprayed that time) and even she thought it was terrible. It does improve a bit as it goes on, though.
Speed Racer (2008): Ooh, swirling bright colours. I fell asleep repeatedly. Didn't get the impression I missed much.
U2 3D (2007): At least Bono isn't lecturing us in this.
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006): All the boys are obviously blind.
God Tussi Great Ho (2008): Rip-off of Bruce Almighty.
My Blueberry Nights (2008): I thought Natalie Portman was good but otherwise found this highly irritating.
Karz (2008): Bollywood films used to be very formulaic. This one is upholding the tradition.
Scar (2007): I guess it's better than Prom Night, at least.
My Best Friend's Girl (2008): A sexromcom that forgot the com.
Never Back Down (2008): Let's all get into fights when we're at high school.
Redbelt (2008): Let's all get into fights when we're a bit older.
The Rocker (2008): Done much better in School of Rock.
Shutter (2008): I've seen the original but a long time before. This will go down to 0/5 if it is a scene-for-scene remake.
P2 (2007): Looking back on it, the concept seems O.K., but I didn't think it was done well at all.
Zombie Strippers (2007): Some tongue-in-cheek humour but it's just too sleazy. I felt embarrassed to be in the audience. Almost as bad as being at Spearmint Rhino, which believe me is mortifying.
Waz (2007): Hhmmm, maybe not such a good idea to get ten-year-old science students to write your screenplay.
Transporter 3 (2008): Hhmmm, you seem to have forgotten to put a plot in.
Made of Honour (2008): Made tolerable by Dempsey, just.
The Express (2008): Awfully worthy and far too long.
Bonne Ann�e (2008): O.K., but I saw it with a Q&A and the film-maker/actors thought it was so amazing (just because it only has about ten shots) that it lowered my opinion.
Superhero Movie (2008): Well, it is better than Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans at least.
How She Move (2008): The second worst teen dance film.
Max Payne (2008): Just kinda flat, and obvious.
The Happening (2008): Nice enough concept, clumsily handled.
Four Christmases (2008): Time to get new agents, guys.
The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008): Not painful but just not exciting. At all. |
Edited by - Sal[Au]pian on 01/06/2009 18:48:16 |
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MisterBadIdea 
"PLZ GET MILK, KTHXBYE"
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Posted - 01/06/2009 : 04:00:11
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Let's see, let's see:
The Spirit: Bad in a way I'm not used to. The only thing I can compare it to is M. Night Shyamalan's Lady in the Water, or Richard Kelly's Southland Tales. It's the vision of a man with a bucketful of bad ideas and the means to realize every one. It's an amazing genius level of bad, which is not to say it's so bad it's good. It's just bad in ways that I just can't deal with.
The House Bunny: Infuriating. Understands nothing about nerds, women, pornography, sororities, college or anything at all. One of the so-called "loser" sorority girls is ridiculously hot and pregnant -- a sign that the makers care nothing at all for internal logic.
Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed/Religulous: Yes, both of them. Despite an indefensible premise and a complete and thorough misunderstanding of its own topics, I think Expelled may be the better movie. It's certainly a better case for atheism (completely accidentally) than Religulous, a smug and callow movie for assholes by assholes, laced with pathetic straw men arguments.
Wanted: Speaking of callow, here's a thoroughly unpleasant and plothole-ridden romp through an angry 13-year-old's fantasies which is full of bile and acid but doesn't follow through with any real violence or sex.
Sex and the City: The Movie: By your 40s, you should have something to talk about besides clothes and boys.
Twilight: Gay.
The X-Files: I Want to Believe: It's amazing that they took one of the hottest couples on TV and turned them into these boring -- and bored -- two people.
Fool's Gold: Irritating, irritating, irritating. Like having a bad rash for two hours. |
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silly 
"That rabbit's DYNAMITE."
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Posted - 01/06/2009 : 17:35:04
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I think this is the first year that I have not seen the vast majority of the movies listed here. I saw Fly me to the Moon and it about gave me a migraine. Zombie Strippers is arriving from Netflix today, because it somehow made it to the top of my queue (I love B movies so I'll give it a shot).
What about "The Happening?" Or was that an 07 movie? Bored me to tears. Probably not the effect they were going for. |
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[matt] 
"Cinemattic."
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Posted - 01/06/2009 : 18:31:10
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Thanks Sal I found this really funny. 
I'm with silly though, I haven't seen a great deal of these. (Not necessarily out of choice, mainly I've just been too busy.)
quote:
Originally posted by Salopian
Three and Out (2008): I met someone who worked on this (one of the couple who helped when I was pepper-sprayed that time).
Haha please explain! |
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Sal[Au]pian
"Four ever European"
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Posted - 01/06/2009 : 18:38:32
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quote:
Originally posted by MisterBadIdea
Let's see, let's see:
The Spirit: I saw it this year so it's not eligible for my own list. However, while the plot and characters were a bit thin, the black, white and red all over (interestingly both to signify Nazism and on the goodies) was very striking. Very lazy to just make baddies be Nazis, though. 3/5
Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed/Religulous: Not seen either. The former is about intelligent design, presumably? That will get a 0/5 from me then. No amount of 'quality' in the film-making can possibly give it any value.
Wanted: Very silly, but that loom of fate just deserves points for absurd script bravado. 3/5
Sex and the City: The Movie: I'm afraid it got a 4/5 from me. Sentimental value and hot guys.
Twilight: Had it been gay, it would have been better. I especially enjoyed the silliness of sending all the vampires to school for decades, when they all easily look old enough for college and they would be able to come and go much more easily there, plus they wouldn't have to study the same stuff every year. Enjoyable enough, though. 3/5
The X-Files: I Want to Believe: I didn't watch the series often and so had less investment in the characters. A passable 3/5.
Fool's Gold: Matthew McConaughey looks amazing and it's entertaining watching him pretending to be straight. That's plenty for a 3/5. |
Edited by - Sal[Au]pian on 01/06/2009 18:47:08 |
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Sal[Au]pian
"Four ever European"
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Posted - 01/06/2009 : 18:42:21
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quote:
Originally posted by silly
What about "The Happening?"
It's in my list (just). I'm surprised it's not in Mr.B.I.'s, as it's exactly the sort of thing he would hate. |
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Sal[Au]pian
"Four ever European"
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Posted - 01/06/2009 : 18:46:10
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quote:
Originally posted by [matt]
please explain!
What, about this? |
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[matt]
"Cinemattic."
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Posted - 01/06/2009 : 19:04:59
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Oh god that's horrible! Sorry to hear about that. 
What a couple of complete assholes!
(It was just the way you wrote it above that made it quite funny to me. 
I now take back the laughing face!) |
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GHcool
"Forever a curious character."
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Posted - 01/06/2009 : 19:33:56
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quote:
Originally posted by MisterBadIdea
Wanted: Speaking of callow, here's a thoroughly unpleasant and plothole-ridden romp through an angry 13-year-old's fantasies which is full of bile and acid but doesn't follow through with any real violence or sex.
Plot hole-ridden? Yes.
Angry 13-year-old's fantasy? Yes.
Full of bile and acid? Yes.
No real violence or sex? Yes.
Perhaps there's a bit of an angry 13-year-old in me because I loved it all, including the plot holes. This is a real guilty pleasure for me. |
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Sal[Au]pian
"Four ever European"
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Posted - 01/06/2009 : 19:43:34
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quote:
Originally posted by [matt]
I now take back the laughing face!
Don't worry; I could see the funny side too, even at the time. I wouldn't have talked about it at all here if it were that bad in the grand scheme of things. |
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MisterBadIdea
"PLZ GET MILK, KTHXBYE"
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Posted - 01/06/2009 : 21:09:47
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Honestly, I didn't hate The Happening that much. Even liked it, a little. It's bad in a way I can groove to. "Good premise, clumsily executed" is a pretty good description; it's certainly not as good as any of the Final Destination movies but something about people spontaneously killing themselves in the most efficient way possible really works for me. Sure, some of the deaths are stupid-looking (the lion scene for example); sure, there are miscalculations left and right (trying to outrun the wind??); sure, it spoonfeeds you the explanation at the end. But it's hardly one of the worst I've ever seen.
Feel the same way about Indiana Jones 4. Colossal miscalculations left and right but enough good things about it that it wouldn't make my list by any means. |
Edited by - MisterBadIdea on 01/06/2009 21:15:16 |
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chazbo 
"Outta This Fuckin' Place"
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Posted - 01/07/2009 : 00:59:52
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quote:
Originally posted by MisterBadIdea
Feel the same way about Indiana Jones 4. Colossal miscalculations left and right but enough good things about it that it wouldn't make my list by any means.
I haven't seen almost all of the films cited so far, but if I had to choose a least favorite film, it would have to be Indiana Jones. True, there were good parts to it, but almost entirely in the first part. Once they travel to the Amazon jungle, the film becomes almost an unbroken string of colossal miscalculations.
It's my lowest rated movie of 2008, though I give it a 2/5. I don't really see many new movies, so I can't comment what's worse. But I'd assume that Spielberg's poorer films are still better than Zombie Strippers.
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rabid kazook 
"Pushing the antelope"
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Posted - 01/12/2009 : 20:01:59
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1. FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL and PINEAPPLE EXPRESS (do mainstream movies get more repulsive?)
2. STEPBROTHERS
3. DOOMSDAY
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Edited by - rabid kazook on 01/13/2009 11:39:34 |
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randall 
"I like to watch."
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Posted - 01/15/2009 : 22:08:33
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| The GET SMART remake. We were watching the DVD, and at about :20, I looked over at Ms. Randall and said, "Have you laughed even once?" She said nope, and we took that sucker off and sent it back to Netflix as fast as it would go. Too bad, too, as I love Steve Carell and the original TV series. |
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MM0rkeleb 
"Better than HBO."
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Posted - 01/17/2009 : 21:29:09
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I can honestly say I was disappointed by 10,000 B.C. - I'm a closet fan of Emmerich, at least when he sticks to apocalypse scenarios. The Happening was pretty bad too.
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Least Favourite Films of the Year (2008)
