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BaftaBaby 
"Always entranced by cinema."
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 Posted - 08/05/2009 : 10:15:27
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G-Force 3D
Maybe someday when everyone's used to the 3D which every film will boast, but which is merely an industry attempt to kill piracy, the other movie creatives - script, acting, directing - will integrate the technology into their storytelling from the beginning rather than bolt it onto the mix to little effect. Maybe they will refine 3D as they have color. Maybe.
So, if you are planning to see these Bruckheimer-fuelled animated furries fight foes of the FBI - don't fret if you can't get the 3D version, because honestly it won't matter one little hamster pellet.
[I know, I know - they NOT hamsters!]
The key word in all this is Bruckheimer. Whaddya think? I'm betting he sat at a table eating his breakfast gasoline and pondering how he was gonna hook the small people into expectations of mindless violence and pointless action to decorate films that will appeal to them as they become bigger people.
Animation!, he eureka-d, jumping up and spilling the gas all over the table, but putting out any potential explosion by quick thinking, tearing out the entire kitchen and dunking it into the olympic sized swimming pool out on the terrace.
So, after his return from the ER, he called up a few pals and story-boarded his latest epic in which a corporate CEO called Saber plans to control the world by blue-toothing every single appliance on the planet. Who can save the world? Who? Who?
Why it's a bevy of furry cuties who can strategize and crack-wise, and act together to pulverize all bad guys. That's bad guys as defined by the FBI who are, in this scenario, standing in for god.
Lending vocal life to the Fur Team are very versatile critter soundalikes the likes of Sam Rockwell as smart Darwin showing remarkable leadership skills, Penelope Cruz as the token ... NO, I wasn't going to say THAT! - the token woman, whose sex dimorphism seems to concentrate along her eyelashes and whose Spanish accent only adds to her feistiness, but who, lest we forget, is never at the center of the action. And then there's Nic Cage as Speckles, a highly intelligent mole, in more ways than one. I know this is a very unpredictable actor - but trust me, this is one of his best performances ever. Last but not least is Steve Buscemi as Bucky taking the concept of grumpy to exquisite heights.
Only Bill Nighy as the megalomaniac is memorable in the live action sequences. This time he's Australian. It sounded good to me. But I'm not Australian!
None of the above should be taken as an endorsement of the film on any level except technically. As with all Bruckie films action replaces character, action replaces story, action replaces logic, action replaces everything. You wanna like the critters. I wanna like the critters. We almost like the critters because the actors are so darn good. But in the end we can't like the critters or care if they get microwaved or eaten by wolves.
In fact no wolves were harmed in the making of this motion picture. In fact, no wolves appear anywhere in this motion picture. But I digress.
What might have helped would have been a genuinely cute little sidekick - it wouldn't have to be a baby something or other, though that's usually the route taken to tug heartstrings. Because heartstrings definitely need to be tugged. None of the FIVE, count'em FIVE screenwriters has managed to engage the audience.
It's not a good sign in a kiddy film for kiddies to be asking their mummies and daddies to explain the dialogue, which is chock fulla exposition about why something needs to be done, then doing it, then whether it worked or not. But since nearly all of what needs to be done is ACTION indistinguishable from the last bout of ACTION - no wonder the kiddies can't follow what's onscreen. At least a character who represents their POV would have allowed a story that was cleverer and had some flow to it.
It's prob'ly going to take big bucks because there prob'ly no real competition at the moment. 
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ChocolateLady 
"500 Chocolate Delights"
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Posted - 08/05/2009 : 10:51:00
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| This sounds so stupid, I can't believe any studio would have taken the pitch. Still, since I can't watch 3D, I'll simply avoid both versions. |
Edited by - ChocolateLady on 08/05/2009 10:53:15 |
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G-Force 3D
